Total Recall is a film about a man who decides to do some sort of memory implant thing and then he meets a girl with three breasts.
Starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston, and a woman with three breasts, the film takes place sometime in the future where the government uses fear of terrorism to exert control over the people, and one of those people is this woman who has three breasts.
But the performances leave much to be be desired. When Quaid (Farrel) meets the three-breasted woman, he doesn’t freak out or try to grab at them. He just glances down at them (all three) and goes on his way.
The latter half of the film gets bogged down in too many noisy, pointless action sequences, featuring a lot of fighting between Quaid and these other women who only have two breasts.
The movie is definitely worth seeing though, mainly because of those three breasts I mentioned earlier. That woman’s two breasts located on the outside of her chest were great. But what really stood out was the third breast, located in between the other two. The big problem is when Colin Farrell goes shirtless, it’s obvious that he only has two breasts and two nipples. If could have been blessed with that endowment, perfect movie!
Total Recall could have major sequel potential, but they’ll have to up the ante on the three-breasted woman. Because I also have some interesting ideas on how many vaginas she could have.
Editor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason. We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling. So whenever you see a ‘NTN’ in front of a story title, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.
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