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NTN: Universal Scrambles To Cover Up ‘Ted’ Sex Tape

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Universal is reeling today after TMZ posted a 96-minute sex tape featuring Ted, the title character of the studio’s new comedy which opened to over $50 million this weekend. The sex tape also stars former daytime TV-star and beauty queen, Lamb Chop.

TMZ reports that Lamb Chop’s once-lover, Charlie Horse, sent them the tape, which depicts Ted and Lamb in various stages of inebriation and copulation.

The most provocative segment occurs at minute-29. After Ted freebases, Lamb Chop forces him to put on womens’ underwear, yelling repeatedly, “that’s all you got? Come on! I have a fist up my ass!”

Ted claims he was conned by the sheep-sock, whom he called a “bat shit crazy whore.” ”Lamb told me it was an experimental thing she was going to send to Lars Von Trier,” Ted told Hollywood Leek.

“She was a star at the time, and had a lot of power in this town. So when she said ‘edgy-sexual’ was my type, as a struggling actor I believed her. I had no idea it would come back to haunt me.”

The couple is also seen in the video using a whip, a cactus and hot soup as sexual aids. Mark Wahlberg is apparenty refusing to stand by his co-star, and recently issued this brief statement: “Ew. Just…Ew.”

hollywood leek logo 2012

Editor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason.  We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling.  So whenever you see a ‘NTN’ in front of a story title, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.

ted movie images with seth mcfarlane going too far 2012

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5 comments
GangGreen80
GangGreen80

omg enough with the thumbs up comments there so stupid. just people like u trying to get attention to get little green thumb

boltfreak98
boltfreak98

or....or..maybe the carpet is under the shit lol