With this being the Halloween month, it’s only fitting that our friends over at the Leek dug in to find an appropriate article, and this was right up their alley. I’m sure many of you find celebrity deaths as oddly fascinating as us, so we’ve added a few additional ones that they missed, plus we made a correction on a fact or two that’s based on folklore….a little like Richard Gere’s friendly gerbil story that oddly stuck around long after that little intruder did!
We know how celebrity’s spend their lives in the limelight trying to be as elegant and pr friendly as possible. Sadly, they don’t always die with grace. We can only hope that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t wind up in this list, especially with parents like Dina and Michael Lohan who’ll sell her out to TMZ in an instant!
1. Johnny Lewis (Sons Of Anarchy): Plummets to his death moments after murdering land lady and dismembering cat. Like Russell Brand, he was an ex of singer Katy Perry
2. David Carradine: Accidentally hung himself while spanking it. Michael Hutchence gets a mention here as his death was rather mysterious, but similar situation. What is true is that Michael was found just inside the door, hanging from the spring lever. He was naked, and hanging by his leather belt. No suicide note. No suspicious circumstances.
3. Albert Dekker: Death by Underwear. Yes, this falls under the autoerotica category above, but this one definitely stands on its own. Character actor Albert (Dr. Cyclops, The Wild Bunch ) Dekker, a fan of autoeroticism, was found hanging from a shower curtain rod wearing delicate ladies’ silk lingerie. He had dirty hypodermic needles stuck in each arm, a hangman’s noose around his neck, a scarf over his eyes, and a rubber-ball bit in his mouth, its metal chains tied firmly behind his head. The corpse was trussed in leather belts fastened around his body like a halter, the end of one clutched in his hand. Each wrist was handcuffed separately. Among other equally weird sentiments scrawled in flaming red lipstick all over his body was “make me suck.”
4. Keith Moon (The Who) & Jon Bonham (Led Zeppelin): Both choked on vomit after a night of boozing and consuming elephant tranquilizers.
5. Lupe Valez: This actress (who starred in over 50 movies from 1927-1944 and was briefly married to the dude who played Tarzan) accidentally drowned face first in the shitter after becoming nauseous from a failed suicide attempt. Ironically, she wanted her death to be remembered and went to great lengths to have herself die as beautifully as possible so her memory would live forever. She got her wish…just not in the way she wanted.
6. Ramon Navaro: Film star best known for playing the original Ben Hur was found dead in Chicago after two local thugs shoved an “Art Deco Dildo” down his throat during a robbery.
7. Felix Faure: Old Felix was the President of France and back in 1895 he was fortunate enough to die while receiving a blow job from an actress. At the scene policemen were overheard commenting; “now that’s the way to go.”
8. Elvis Presley: After ingesting over 14 drugs, 10 of them reportedly were taken in massive quantity, the King fittingly died on the throne!
9. Peggy Entwistle: Some say the actress was depressed about her acting career and climbed to the top of the H in the Hollywoodland sign in 1932 and jumped to her death. The next day a letter came to her house offering her a role in a play in which she would play a troubled woman who commits suicide.
10. Draco: Greek lawmaker who birthed the legal code that is commonly referred to as “Draconian” died sometime in 7th Century B.C. after delivering a powerful speech to a crowd so moved by his words that they tossed their hats and cloaks onto the stage in appreciation. Draco suffocated under the mound of hats and cloaks.
11. Mike Edwards: Cellist and founding member of E.L.O. was killed in October of 2010 when a runaway bail of hay weighing over 1000lbs busted through a fence and down a hill then slammed into his van killing him instantly.
12. Brandon Lee: Killed on the set of ‘The Crow’ when a stunt gun used to fire blanks unknowingly had a bullet lodged in the barrel. The actor was shot in the head and died instantly. Jon Erik-Hexum was playing around with a .44 Magnum prop gun, as you do. At around 5:15 p.m. he put the pistol (according to witnesses, it was loaded with three empty cartridges and two blanks) up to his right temple. Just before he pulled the trigger he smiled, and said, “Let’s see if I got myself with this one.” He was apparently unaware that at close range, a blank can cause great damage. And damage it was. The explosion drove a quarter-sized piece of his skull far into his brain. Turns out that the blank was packed with paper inside, and it went straight into his temple and made a bone chip lodge in his brain. Killed by paper.
13. Marvin Gaye: On his 44th birthday the music legend was killed by his own father, who was a minister, after a bitter argument with his son. The police arrived on the scene asking, “What’s Going On?”
14. Mama Cass: This chunky songstress met her demise at the hand of one of her closest friends: food. In 1974, she tragically (but fittingly) choked to death on a ham sandwich. That’s been the folklore, but actually the coroners office was tired of being questioned on the cause by the media and one of the people there made a cruel joke – that it was a ham sandwich – to get the press off his back. He has stated that he regrets this and the pain it has caused her family as a fat joke on a lovely, talented woman. She simply had a heart attack in her sleep.
15. Ervin McKinness: Rap name, Inkyy, stupidly tweeted about his drunken driving, ironically with the hashtag “YOLO”, minutes before running a red light and fatally crashing. YOLO, indeed, Mr. McKinness.
16. Harry Houdini: Legendary magician and illusionist was unable to ‘disappear’ out of the way of multiple punches to the stomach in 1926, causing him to die of complications due to a ruptured appendix.
17. George Sanders: Death by Boredom. Yes, not so odd, but interesting to us. Oscar winning actor George (All About Eve) Sanders, onetime husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, offed himself by drugs and booze, not that unusual. What was unusual was his suicide note: Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool — good luck. Love, George”
18. Isadora Duncan: On September 14, 1927, dancer Isadora Duncan is strangled in Nice, France, when the enormous silk scarf she is wearing gets tangled in the rear hubcaps of her open car. (“Affectations,” said Gertrude Stein when she heard the news of Duncan’s death, “can be dangerous.”) Duncan’s signature style were long flowing scarves.
19. Vic Morrow: While on location filming the Steven Spielberg‘s “Twilight Zone: The Movie,” Morrow was decapitated by the blades of a low-flying helicopter. Spielberg, pilot Dorsey Wingo, and director John Landis were ultimately acquitted of involuntary manslaughter and Morrow’s daughters; Carrie Morrow and Jennifer Jason Leigh, settled out of court.
20. Gwili Andre: Suicide by newspaper clippings. Blonde, blue-eyed Gwili Andre from Denmark, “the highest priced model in America,” was taken on as a “Garbo look-alike” by RKO Studio, earning $25,000 a year and dating Howard Hughes. To her dismay, she failed to become a movie star. In a bizarre suicide, she was found sprawled on the bedroom floor of her apartment, burned to a crisp in a funeral pyre she had made out of old publicity clippings.
Editor’s Note: Usually, if you see this logo it’s pure satire, but they’ve gotten a little dark in time for Halloween with this story, and we’ve added a few more that we found interesting to the batch. If you’ve got more ideas, comment on them below for us. We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling. So whenever you see the logo above at the bottom of any article or story, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.
Shocking Celebrity Deaths 2011 – Best Movies Ever