No one predicted the debate between science and religion would end so quickly, or that proof would come in the pages of a fashion magazine. Recently, Vogue published photos of a shirtless Tim Tebow, which confirm the existence of God.
As the magazines editor put it, “No one can look at this picture and deny there’s a creator of the universe… or that the New York Jets have a real shot at winning this year.”
The scientific community, understandably wary of the claim, has confirmed the findings and are somewhat relieved to finally put the matter to rest. “This actually frees up a lot of time. Time we can spend staring at that beautiful man’s beautiful chest.”
Tebow, somewhat awestruck by the news, commented, “I always knew God had a plan for my life, but I never expected this. I’m just glad I could help.”
He also continued speaking in more Bible talk about the type of woman who could please both him and his God. “I’ve been blessed to have an amazing mom and two amazing sisters—so they set a very high standard,” he says in his interview. “Obviously looks play a big part. Being attracted to someone plays a big part, but there’s also so much more than that for me. It’s about finding someone sweet and kind—and that has a servant’s heart. It’s about finding a girl who likes me for me, and not because of what I do or who I am or the name.”
Not everyone was quite so humble. The pope, unreachable for comment, was seen spiking his bible and dancing. “That’s what I’m talking about,” he screamed. “In yo’ face science!”
While the issue is settled, victory may be bittersweet. Many men who see the image are having their faith confirmed, while at the same moment getting their first gay thought, which is definitely a sin.
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