Ryan Lochte Penile Sale Going Rather Limp

When images of Ryan Lochte surfaced of him in even less clothing than his little pink Speedo there weren’t any offers to see him in a more natural state. Now Deadspin is working to pool enough money to unveil the image, but interest isn’t even close to flacid for the pics, in fact the fundraising is rather limp.

Judging from the reaction of the Deadspin staff to seeing an alledged naked photo of Ryan Lochte, it’s understandable why funds have been very slow in coming. The purported photo has been floating around for weeks from an ex-girlfriend and there’s not been any takers…not even TMZ. They were all over the Prince Harry naked shots, but that shows how much a difference the swimmer and the royal heir have between them. Now if Lochte had attended that famous strip billiards party in Las Vegas, those pics would’ve been worth much more since you kinda know the two men would’ve been hanging out after losing.

So the site owned by Gawker has put up one of those Indiegogo pages trying to raise $5K to get a glimpse of the Olympic swimmer. So far, they’ve raised only $100 through 9 funders. Here’s the description they’ve given of the shot so if you’re wanting to put up your hard earned money for his less than hard image, here you go.

The penis supposedly belongs to Olympic gold/silver/bronze swimming medalist Ryan Lochte. The photograph is a neck-down bathroom-mirror self-portrait, in which the tip of the penis almost but not quite reaches into the sink basin. We have seen the photograph. The body in the photo is shaved like a swimmer’s body, with tan lines from racing trunks. The contours of the torso appear to match the contours of Lochte’s torso, particularly the deep crease across the abdominal muscles, angling up at the sides. The position of the subject/photographer’s right arm makes it impossible to tell whether Lochte’s other distinguishing marks—his Olympic-rings arm tattoo and a prominent pectoral mole—are present. (Photo research suggests, in fact, that Lochte had the pectoral mole removed between the 2008 Beijing Olympics and this year’s London ones.)

Do you want to see Ryan Lochte’s alleged penis? Rather than bidding on some hypothetical market value of the photograph, let’s establish a real market value. Call it Cockstarter: Our offer price will be whatever you collectively pledge to the cause, plus a contribution from our own budget. Based on your pledges, we will make a final determination on the photo by next week.

So, if you’re just jonesing to see more Lochte, here’s your chance. After getting a glimpse of the Prince Harry video, I’ll save my money for that sale.