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NTN: Kutcher, Timberlake & Penn Agree: No Need to Buy Women, Just Be an Asshole

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Leading men like Justin Timberlake, Ashton Kutcher and Sean Penn across Hollywood have united to send a message: You don’t have to buy women to humiliate them.

“You don’t need to buy girls,” said Demi Moore’s ex, Ashton Kutcher. “That’s disrespectful. If you want to show your respect for women, marry them. Then later you can sleep with other women outside your marriage, and you can do it on your anniversary. Nothing wrong with that!”

Despite an ugly divorce many years ago, pop icon Madonna also commented on Sean Penn’sparticipation in the campaign…”I’m here to tell you, Sean has never bought a woman of any age. He has a very charming thing he does with his fists on theirs faces. And I’ve got the scars to prove it.”

Although not married, Justin Timberlake decided to do the add campaign as a precautionary move for future bad press, saying, “Someday I’ll get married and when I do I plan to shit all over my wife too.”

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Editor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason.  We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling.  So whenever you see a ‘NTN’ in front of a story title, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.

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Ashton Kutcher, Justin Timberlake & Sean Penn Agree: No Need to Buy Women, Just Be an Asshole – Best Movies Ever News

Adam Spiegelman
Funny man who likes funny things.
Adam Spiegelman
16 comments
jj
jj

Wulfragar, I agree with you, real men know themselves and don't need status, fame, and money to feel worthy and validated. Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn are not the best of men to represent" Real men don't buy girls". Real men also don't cheat, lie, and hit a person who cannot defend themselves. Any men hitting a woman is a disgrace and a coward. Kutcher is overexposed and known for his immature brat like behavior. Sean Penn, he is a jerk, and ass ..how dare he hit any woman? Those men are the worst of the worst, CAN"T HELP ANYONE when your life is a mess, now how's that for a thought? Messy and drama "celebrities" think they make a difference when their whole life is joke and a mess...

eisenman0311
eisenman0311

Of course Sean Penn doesn't buy girls, he lines the coke and the skirts drop just like Robin does when he hits her. Also, real men are not communist or play sexual perverted homo's on screen.

TheHoleBag
TheHoleBag

They should have done "Real men have been to Iraq" with Sean Penn.

celestialhoney04
celestialhoney04

It doesn't matter if Sean hit his wife and whatever he did about the Falklands. At least he's much better than all those fat sex tourists by the riverside in Phnom Penh. Will anyone explain what is a 15 years-old dark-skinned cambodian girl doing with a white baby in her lap? Sean won't do that. If he does, he'll have to pass me first in a boxing match. I will destroy any man who comes with bad intentions to Cambodia! I'll crucify them!

JohnnySixString420
JohnnySixString420

Real men lease with an option to buy. But usually only keep it an hour or so.

knunus
knunus

Edward Norton IS a real men!

Gonko100
Gonko100

OH COME ON SEAN you fucking punched your wife in the fucking face

ashyk72
ashyk72

WTF sean penn two-bit commy-actor, De Niro Wannabe,now pretending to be a human right do-gooder for desperately needed publicity, what a joke where was Madonnas human rights when he was beating the shit out of her. Now he has allowed himself to be used by a dictator in a matter he knows ZIP about, Clearly not a fan of FREEDOM & DEMOCRACY, well,if Penn is the head of the "moral" corporation, im not buying in. not that dumb to follow an actor - ex-convict on politics. FALKLANDS TO STAY FREE

wulfsragar
wulfsragar

real men dont need money or status to convince themselves to be real men

fantacylandfilms
fantacylandfilms

YEAH!!! BE A REAL MAN LIKE HAN SOLO OR THE HULK!!!! ( Harrison Ford and Edward Norington ^^ )

mrLmanlman
mrLmanlman

real men dont buy boys and that is how you make a toasty

mikesheen741
mikesheen741

Real men don't beat their wives with baseball bats. Real men don't stick their nose in where it is not wanted (Falklands). Isn't that right Sean Penn.

ninjamoon002
ninjamoon002

Real men beat the shit out of Madonna butt thair dick will fall off