Octomom’s boyfriend, Frankie G, 23, filed for government assistance today to help him neglect Octo’s overwhelming lot of fourteen children.
“I’m just trying to fulfill my new role as stepdad,” said the boyfriend, who TMZ reports has been dating Octo for two months. “I mean Octostepdad,” he added.
Unaware her children were conceived by in-vitro, Octostepdad also demanded the biological father take responsibility for neglecting up to six children on alternate weekends.
Shockingly, he even took it one step further and requested the state help him molest the children as well.
“It’s what any stepdad in my position would do,” he said. “There are just way too many hiding places in [Octo's] house. How am I supposed to corner and inappropriately touch all these kids myself?”
State aid in child molestation is expected to come in the form of an unmarked FEMA trailer. The unit is reported to lock from the outside, be windowless, and somehow even has a basement.
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