NTN: Interior Decorator Sues Travolta for Failing to Sexually Assault Him

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john travolta sued for not assaulting decorator

In the midst of a media firestormJohn Travota is being sued yet again, this time for failing to sexually assault his longtime interior decorator, allegedly causing “severe emotional distress.”

Stavros Babinski, 37 of Santa Monica, has been working for Travolta for fifteen years. “But in all that time,” says Babinski, “John-John hasn’t so much as rubbed up against me.”

The lawsuit was prompted by a cruise ship worker who recently accused Travolta of unwanted sexual advances. ”He offers some waiter boy twelve-grand in exchange for a naked neck massage?” Babinski continued. “And I’m like, ‘hello, what am I, minced liver?’”

Babinski says he made himself continually available to Travolta, describing himself as a ”peacock in heat.”

I’d prance around in these adorable bedazzled denim cutoffs and a half-T, but it was like I didn’t exist. I’m thinking, ‘Am I too fat? Is it my receding hairline?’ It drove me mental!”

The breaking point came while the disgruntled designer was decorating Travolta’s master bathroom.

John-John needed to choose a shower set. So I put several varieties of curtain rings to choose from on my penis. Nothing! He just pointed and said he liked the brushed chrome rings by Moen. Which, I must say, was the perfect choice.”

In a press release today attorneys for Travolta confirmed Stavros’ worst nightmare, stating, “Mr. Travolta is simply not attracted to Stavros. John typically goes for much younger men. And last time I checked, that is not a crime.

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Editor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason.  We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling.  So whenever you see a ‘NTN’ in front of a story title, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.

john travolta eating a candy bar in the pool with drink

John Travolta Sued Again – Best Movies Ever

14 comments
Nicole
Nicole

Lol! Now thats funny

doggy657
doggy657

I'll be John Travolta's little boy any day

evilwillhunting
evilwillhunting

Well... there WAS that. That really does kinda blow a hole in the argument. He did indeed have that setup and that wouldn't fit at all in "just sleepovers" scenario.

67uxb
67uxb

Yeah, riiiiiiiiight. It's not unusual for a middle-aged man to hang around with little boys in his bedroom and have an early warning system that let him know when someone was coming down the hallway to his room. All perfectly normal.

evilwillhunting
evilwillhunting

I'm starting to think Michael wasn't really a pedo. He just had no concept of what was appropriate or permissible. I think he may have really been thinking like a 6-year-old and the sleepovers may have been just that. The problem, naturally, is to attract kids, he's gonna use the precise same means as a pedo. "Come to my house, I have candy" becomes "come to Neverland, we have a ferris wheel." Not saying he was innocent, I'm just not as sure as I once was he really was guilty.

evilwillhunting
evilwillhunting

"Why doesn't he just come out and be done with it?" Simple. His career would never recover. Look at most of the roles he had: family men, badasses and occasionally villains. Hollywood doesn't give roles like that to gay men. Is he gay? I don't know for a fact. The guy never hit on me. But the evidence sure points that way. I think a lot of these "episodes" are exaggerated because people are looking for a fast payoff, but where theres _this_ much smoke...

Hem3fiction
Hem3fiction

just.... is anyone gonna believe him?

FedorEight
FedorEight

A real thinker, this one. What a mind-blowing analysis. You must change your daily diet of boogers into something a little more nutritious.

FedorEight
FedorEight

You're drooling all over my new carpet. Or are you just happy to see me? Now who's gay.

FedorEight
FedorEight

It went the other way round, believe it or not. Michael was the catcher, the boys were the pitchers.

FedorEight
FedorEight

It went the other way round, believe it or not. Michael was the catcher, the boys were the pitchers.

ButterflyChristie
ButterflyChristie

Also John Travolta is not Jewish, he is into that weird Scientology stuff.

ButterflyChristie
ButterflyChristie

There is a big difference between being accused, and being proven he did it. Any asshole seeking attention can accuse someone of anything.

67uxb
67uxb

What "social misstep" did Michael Jackson commit? Oh yeah, fucking little boys in the ass.