The GOP revealed the primary cause of Mitt Romney’s political shortcomings today: he’s been running on Windows 8 Beta software.
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” the Republican presidential candidate countered. ”I might run a little slower, but I’m still just as reliable as—” he then froze for over an hour and a half. Luckily, Paul Ryan was there to revive him by clicking control-alt-delete multiple times.
The Vice-Presidential nominee had this to say about Mitt’s choice of software OS control. “Microsoft Windows is like Mitt. If you keep patching it up and making Americans feel like it’s their problem, you’ll stay in business forever and show people that taking the country backwards it the thing to do.”
It appears he’s not the only Romney working on subpar technology. His wife Ann still runs on Linux, while his fleet of Mitt clones, referred to as S.O.N.S. (Similar Offspring Needed for Success), are internally connected via Xbox Live.
Mitt also hinted that he might switch back to Windows Vista. When asked why he preferred Vista he replied, “Well ‘Vista’ is a Spanish word. And apparently, they can vote now.”
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