Theatre critics at every publication in New York are giving Mike Tyson’s one-man show, Undisputed Truth, rave reviews, even though they have yet to see it.
“It’s the theatrical event of the millennium,” wrote Ben Brantly of The Times. John Lahr of The New Yorker writes, “[Tyson] gives us a glimpse into the mind of a true thespian. Not since Olivier has the stage been graced with such talent.”
But only a select group of director Spike Lee’s friends and family were allowed to attend a private preview, where they reportedly witnessed a theatrical train wreck.
“Every time Tyson forgot his lines, which was often, he would beat up one of the crew members,” said an inside source who wished to remain anonymous so as not to get his legs broken. “It was a blood bath. He also accidentally raped Spike, at which point the whole thing really fell apart.”
Asked why the yet-to-open show would garner such glowing reviews, the source had his suspicions. “Jigga please, all these critics are white!” he said. “You think those punk-ass bitches want to piss off Spike Lee and Mike Tyson?”
The show opens to the general public on July 31st at the Longacre Theater, assuming everyone has healed by then.
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