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NTN: Joel Schumacher says Christopher Nolan “Ruined Batman”

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batman and robin bane versus dark knight rises bane

Batman & Robin director Joel Schumacher is reportedly furious with Christopher Nolan, saying the Dark Knight Rises auteur “ruined Batman.”

One of Schumacher’s chief complaints centers on the film’s setting and composition. “I don’t even recognize the Gotham I knew,” Schumacher said. “Everything is gray and black, even the villains. Everyone knows bad guys wear neon green and purple!

Joel Schumacher

Schumacher says a Batman movie should look like a “gay porno with Lite Brites.”

Ideally,” he added, “a Batman film should look like a gay porno made with Lite Brites.

Schumacher also said he had a hard time determining who the villains were. “The audience needs you to use puns to remind them who the bad guy is. Would it have killed [Nolan] to add a ‘This guy’s a Bane in the neck’ or ‘He’s not Ra’s Al-Ghuling around?’”

Schumacher was able to at least glimpse a silver lining, saying, “There’s one thing I took from my Batmans that I’ll never give back…and that’s Tommy Lee Jones’s dignity.”

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Editor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason.  We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling.  So whenever you see a ‘NTN’ in front of a story title, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.

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Batman & Robin Versus Bane – Best Movies Ever

NTN: Joel Schumacher says Christopher Nolan “Ruined Batman” – Best Movies Ever News

A member of the Hollywood Week team who does a lot of the political satire.
9 comments
Bane
Bane

Joel : Why won't you kill me? Tim and Christopher : Your punishment must be more severe! Joel ruined batman! The first one was exellent! the second one was great! Then Joel comes along and we get neon lights, ass shots, nut shots, bat nipples, naked male statues, campy fruity bad guys, one liners and other horrendeous garbage!

bigboycain
bigboycain

Am I the only one that is a TRUE fan of Batman but not just Nolans and REALISTIC Ones??! Jeez I'm a loyal fan either way. Christopher Nolan made the Batman movies look nothing like the villains should be. I mean come on Robin is supposed to be part of Batman no matter what!! I loved what Christian bale did as Batman but fuck him for insulting Robin one of the most popular people in the comics. You people aren't REAL loyal fans cause if you were you wouldn't be kissing Nolan and Bales ass. Hathaway is horrible as Catwoman and Michael Keaton is way better Batman than Bale. Michelle's Catwoman was more psycologically crazy and as a attitude that represents the real on from the comics. Realistic shit isn't always everything.

Batfan
Batfan

Wow, is all that can be said. Schumacher's take on Batman was awful and doesn't even deserve a place on any true Batman fans shelf. From the casting, to the screenplay I absolutely hated that movie. Christopher Nolan did an amazing job rebooting the cape crusader. I especially enjoyed his recreation of Bane which actually stuck to the comics. Bane was a intellectual master mind not that dumb monkey from Schumacher's Batman & Robin.

Harlequin
Harlequin

Are you effing kidding me?! The Dark Knight is the best installment of Batman! Also, Nolan made it realistic, that's why!

abcd
abcd

schumacher: - why didn't you just kill me?? nolan: -your punishment must be more severe...

Vanessa
Vanessa

hahahahaha from the man who brought us Batman and Robin!!?!? He's the one who ruined Batman, it has taken Christopher Nolan to rebuild what was ruined over the years and mainly by him and his shitty movies. AND GEORGE CLOONEY WAS THE WORST BATMAN EVER!

Jew107
Jew107

Haha, it takes batman about a week to stand up around 1.07, such a bad film, but when I was 7 this was unreal!

360FANMAN117
360FANMAN117

You trollin? Because this is without a shadow of a doubt the worst super hero or comic book movie I have ever seen and that says a lot; I've seen a lot of shit: Ghost Rider, Fantastic 4, Superman Returns, Green Lantern, etc.