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NTN: Jessica Simpson Wins Teen Choice MILF Award

jessica simpson takes home best milf award teens choice

Beating out Hillary DuffKourtney Kardashian and Bristol PalinJessica Simpson won the Teen Choice Award for Best MILF last night.

Nobody is certain how the award is selected, but voter Jimmy Moore, 14, weighed in on why Simpson got his vote. ”I keep a little chart beside my bed next to my spank sock,” said Jimmy.

A month before the awards I make a mark next to every star I rub one out to. And even though Jessica Simpson’s fat and super old, she still came out on top with 58 marks.”

Simpson was glowing with sweat in a Dolce and Gabanna moomoo as she addressed the prepubescent crowd.

I want you to know that I don’t take you all for granted. I’d breast feed every last one of you if I could. And though your eyes may tell you differently, I really can’t.”

Last year’s winner Britney Spears did not go home empty handed as she took the coveted CABIN (Crazy Ass Bitch I’d Nail) Award.

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Editor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason.  We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling.  So whenever you see a ‘NTN’ in front of a story title, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.

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