Jerry Sandusky learned his fate when a judge ordered him to serve 30 to 60 years behind bars – a likely life sentence. But according to Satan, it’s the afterlife he should be most worried about, and his karma is pretty much all laid out for him beyond the 30-60 year prison sentence.
1. Force him to have sex with women his own age.
2. Provide weekly pedicures for Hitler.
3. Must sit next to Saddam at every Thanksgiving.
4. Must share a room with Joe Paterno.
5. Provide daily beard groomings for Osama bin Laden.
6. Absolutely no showers. Ever.
7. Must watch the new Matthew Perry sitcom Go On at least five times each day.
8. Will not be included on rare Snow Cone Day.
9. Must attend “poker night” with corrupt Catholic Priests.
10. Forbidden from taking part in any water sports on the lake of fire.
11. No more watching Brock Ritter work out his Toddlers and Tiaras confusion.
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