14 September, 2012 at 4:07 pm

REVIEW: 5 iPhone 5 Features You’ll Die For

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iphone 5 review with features images
The much-anticipated iPhone 5 was just announced by Apple earlier this week. Needless to say, the internet instantly went crazy with comments on the new features. In case you haven’t seen them, here are the TOP 5 NEW FEATURES of the iPhone 5 that you’ll die and just plain kill for:

1. Slim, Sleek Design. Specifically crafted to slip out of your pocket with more ease than ever. The iPhone 5 has a Flight Time™ (from pocket to toilet) 3x faster than Samsung & Blackberry.

iphone 5 can survive falling in bowl of toilet water or dog licking

2. New Colors. Sick of the dull, outdated Black & White? Say no more! Take your pick from either of the two BRAND NEW colors: Eggshell or Midnight.

iphone 5 comes in white or black diversity

iphone 5 colors come in midnight and eggshell now

3. High-Grade Retina Display. The iPhone 5 screen is now so bright, it’s guaranteed to increase your optical migraines.

iphone 5 has intense retina display to replace yours after burning

4. Improved Mirage™ Battery Technology. Just when you think you have more than enough battery life to last throughout the day, remember, it’s only a Mirage™.

iphone 5 battery live review real versus fantasy reading

5. Goodbye, Siri. Hello, Stewart. Apple finally took a smart pill, and replaced the moody, menstruating Siri with the more assertive, obviously smarter, male voice. Because, honestly, she was just guessing half the time.

say goodbye to dear siri on big bang theory iphone 5

iphone 5 cuts out siri and adds stewart for manly man

Apple hopes all the new innovations with the iPhone 5, will be able to stand the test of time, and don’t forget the hot new Breastfeeding App that just came out.

*iPhone 6 due out in December.

You can find this hot new app along with tons of others at the Killer Apps Store for all your iPhone, iPad and just plain i needs!

hollywood leek best movies ever logoEditor’s Note: Now if anyone is taking this story seriously, it’s in our Satire section for a reason.  We’ve teamed up with HollywoodLeek.com to bring your some of the funniest satire stories that should definitely get your smiling.  So whenever you see the above logo in images or anywhere in an article, you’ll know to expect something over the top and satirical from the brilliant minds over at The Hollywood Leek.

iphone 5 evolution with tim cook and steve jobs images

REVIEW: 5 iPhone 5 Features You’ll Die For – Best Movies Ever News

Kevin Scannell

Kevin Scannell

Writer/Contributor at Best Movies Ever Entertainment News
Born and bred in the Bay Area, Kevin Scannell is a young comedy writer with an old soul. Having studied at the alternative comedy mecca, Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre, he continues to write hilarious articles, spec scripts, pilots, web shorts and sketches. Basically, this is one funny dude who's worth reading.
Kevin Scannell

@bestmoviesnews

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12 comments
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Utkarsh Kaushik
Utkarsh Kaushik

Those who support android.... My sympathies!! I really can't understand what made you fall on that side of the argument but for sure the fall must've hurt as your points of arguments just don't make any sense at all.. You guys are just sticking to that Samsung, Nokia n all coz that's all you have right now... And the iPhone obsession just chokes you down your valves... Well good luck with that piece of shit in your hand/pocket.... *via iPhone*

mazhu001
mazhu001

S3 is a better phone, but Iphone have better game.

Boy LoNdoN
Boy LoNdoN

I have to save money for iphone 6 after when I buy this iphone 5:)

traysUtube
traysUtube

What I don't understand is the connector. If I want a cd on my phone I would upload the cd to my computer and load it on my iPhone with the USB connector. How will this work with the new connector? Anyone know?

traysUtube
traysUtube

check the website starting at $199

Brantheman2k10
Brantheman2k10

I disagree android is a bag of wank it will never keep up with apples brilliant technology the only ones that say android is better are the ones that have never had an iPhone

chrisgraydon
chrisgraydon

The Nokia Lumia 920 is going to be a huge hit during the holidays. iSheeps go and guard your precious iPhone because the Lumia gonna come and beat it up and slap it back into 2007. iPhone is the past, Lumia is the future!!!

pitotipp
pitotipp

 for ever

chrisgraydon
chrisgraydon

The Nokia Lumia 920 is going to be a huge hit during the holidays. iSheeps go and guard your precious iPhone because the Lumia gonna come and beat it up and slap it back into 2007. iPhone is the past, Lumia is the future!!!

TheUsername1097
TheUsername1097

Oh so we got an android fan boy over here... OK I see what were dealing with. To start with when did I say that android is Non-User friendly? I can give my iPhone to my grandma and she will know how to use it...in my opinion that's user friendly. "shit stain"