How Mitt Romney Will Kill Off Big Bird

Mitt Romney showed he was ready to kick some Barack Obama butt Wednesday night as he easily won the first round Presidential debates, but no one knew that he was also looking to pluck some big yellow feathers too.

Soon after Mitt Romney announced he wants to cut federal funding to PBS, details about his plan were released. Hollywood Leek obtained this list of ways Mittens plans to “off” Big Bird.

1. Two in the chest, one in the head

big bird killed at hands of mitt romney pistol

2. By making Big Bird listen to Mitten’s (Mitt Romney for those still not getting it!) convention speech

3. Having Dick Cheney take Big Bird hunting

4. Eating Big Bird with some Fava Beans and a nice Chianti

5. Paying Oscar the Grouch to take Big Bird on a “fishing trip” a la Godfather II

6. Inviting Big Bird to the Romney Family Thanksgiving Dinner

7. Choking his Big …Bird

8. Quartered by wild horses

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