In an attempt to show the world the true strength of American resolve, along with Mitt Romney supporters, President Obama has sent the cast of The Expendables to quell the recent uprising in Libya.
“While the movies may be fake,” the President explained in a press conference, “Their weapons, attitudes and muscles are totally real.”
The superstars are already in flight, and plan to drop into Libya under the cover of darkness and start shooting immediately.
Before takeoff, Special Forces team leader Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “The plan is that we have no plan, other that when we see a brown person, we will shoot them just like we do in the movies.”
Jean-Claude Van Damme added that his plan was also to have sex with a number of women while deployed, and potentially bring home wife number five.
Chuck Norris added that he went just so he could keep an eye on Jet Li, who he doesn’t trust because he’s “funny looking.”
Everyone agreed that the actor that would probably die first would be Dolph Lundgren. From a career standpoint, he’s clearly the most expendable.
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